zeldathemes
Fancy meeting you here.
I'm Tori.
A red-headed vegetarian nerd. Basically, I'm a gaming, reading, programming, cigarette-smoking college kid. I don't like pants, I love combat boots, and I watch a lot of Netflix.
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You have to learn to say no without feeling guilty. Setting boundaries is healthy. You need to learn to respect and take care of yourself.
(via frowly)

Interviewer: is that how you pick up girls?

Bradley: I actually pick up girls with various displays of origami.

Interviewer: You do not.

Bradley: Yes, I do. It’s quite a famous tactic here in England. The better you are at origami, the more women you attract.

Interviewer: And you’re sure it’s not because they recognise you from the show?

Colin: Well, generally they’re too distracted by the origami.

Bradley: Yes. My house is origami. I’ve got a car that I drove here today that is made from origami.

Interviewer: It must be very environmentally friendly.

Bradley: Yeah, big time.

Interviewer: Alright, Colin, coming back to Merlin - do you believe in magic?

Colin: After watching Bradley drive around in his origami car, I believe in everything.

Interviewer: Okay. Do you own anything origami?

Colin: No, I’m an origami wannabe. I’ve actually started up a support group because some people have a deficiency in their systems where they can’t actually fold things. I’m a part of that group, and it seems to affect people from Northern Ireland. Anyone prone to paper cuts shouldn’t even enter the origami game. It’s a rough industry and certainly if you don’t have thick skin, you’re going to lose.

Interviewer: Let us guess, we’re your first interview of the day, aren’t we?

Colin: Yes!

Interviewer: And this is how you like to start your day?

Bradley: …I usually start my day with origami.

Best interview ever!!! (via bittsandstuff)

New favourite joke:

juliuscaesarofficial:

agathaheterodyne:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”

"Don’t you mean a martini?”

"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."

these are the best jokes ever

pleatedjeans:

loading artist

There’s my hoop :)

There’s my hoop :)

Genres of video games

midorimmas:

Shingeki no Kyojin ft. skies

"Sweet mother, sweet mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptised in blood and fear.”

Sometimes I take nudes just to admire myself.

moshingice:

you ever wanna fuck the living shit outta somebody but also cook for them and make sure they’re emotionally stable?

Myers Briggs By Superpowers

readingontheroof:

INFJ: Visions of the future
ESTP: Superhuman strength
INTJ: Immortality
ESFP: Ability to freeze time
INFP: Literary manipulation
ESTJ: Power negation
INTP: Omniscience
ESFJ: Healing powers
ISFJ: Visions of the past
ENTP: Dimensional travel
ISTJ: Photographic memory
ENFP: Reality warping
ISFP: Shape shifting
ENTJ: Mind control
ISTP: Invulnerability
ENFJ: Empathic powers

bewwbs:

how to get girls to like you:

  1. compliment their eyebrows
  2. eat them out
Okay.

Okay.

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Song: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Artist: Gregorian
Album: Masters of Chant Chapter V
Plays: 1,409,455

butterflyslinky:

yeidldeidlmotherfucker:

whimmy-bam:

reichenballs:

mrjackles:

the-bookmobile:

Gregorian monks singing “Boulevard of Broken Dreams.”

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND LISTEN TO THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Why is this a thing that exists?

image

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

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"on the boooooolovarrrd of brooookennnn dreeeemmsss"

Now I kind of want a retelling of the Gospels using emo rock from the early 2000s…

Everyone has six names.

  1. Your real name: Tori
  2. your detective name (favourite colour and favourite animal): Red Giraffe
  3. your soap opera name (middle name and street you live on): Lauren River
  4. your star wars name (first three letters of last name, first two of middle): Hilla
  5. superhero name (color of your shirt, first item to your immediate left): Black Outlet
  6. goth name (black and one of your pets): Black Vandal